Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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