Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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