she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
