That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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