a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
