Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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