please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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