Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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