I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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