is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
