Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
