Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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