i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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