Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
