I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
