I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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