just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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