put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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