We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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