she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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