Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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