i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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