Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
