Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize