It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
