I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
