Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
