so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Randomize
