16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
