He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
