He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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