Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
