I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
