We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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