WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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