I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.