There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?