O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.