Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"

(305): View more from Florida

does that mean he doesn't last long?

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(315): View more from New York

i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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(802): View more from Vermont

she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.

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(419): View more from Ohio

You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.

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(847): View more from Illinois

just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?

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