But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
