Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
third nipple confirmed
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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