I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize