So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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