when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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