That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
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I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
God, I missed his penis.
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