Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
