hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize