If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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