doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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