Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dicks are not precious.
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