I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize