you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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