Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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