i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need a beard to bite.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
