just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
