today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize