Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
