I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you will always have a special place in my vag
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
