No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
