he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
