Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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