I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
