You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
a search helicopter?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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