We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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