I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
