Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
