Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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