Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
