dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
