I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
