I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
