Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
