do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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