Do vagina's smell?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
