No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
