Welp...herpes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize