Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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